Friday, October 3, 2008

Truck

An out of control asphalt truck wreaked havoc in El Cerrito, leaving the driver with two broken legs and a house completely destroyed. The crash, which happened on Moeser St., also left parts of El Cerrito, Berkley and Richmond with out power. The 10-wheeler hauler snapped a power line, severely damaged at least five vehicles and smashed into a local residence.
Detective Sgt. Shawn Maples, with help from form Police Chief Scott Kirkland and Detective Ken Zinc, pulled the driver from the over turned hauler seconds before it burst into flames. Maples said, “We dragged him out in a heartbeat while the truck went up in flames. I just wanted to get him out of there.” According to Maples, the driver’s legs were mangled and he couldn’t move.
Ruben Sharma, whom lives across the street from the home that was destroyed said, “First, I thought it was a major earthquake. This is unbelievable.” His front yard is littered with bricks, broken glass, car parts, splintered wood and palm fronds.
Rescue workers had to cut the roof of a Honda sedan to free the trapped driver and a parked electrician’s truck on Moeser was knocked over to the next street. Both were struck by the hauler.
The driver of the hauler, a San Jose man whose name was not released, broke both of his and is listed in serious but stable condition at John Muir Medical Center in Walnut Creek.

1 comment:

camccune said...

Your lead gets off to a good start, but it should be just one sentence, about 20-30 words. It also needs to include the "when" (yesterday afternoon) of this story.

An out-of-control asphalt truck (hyphenate a compound adjective)
wreaked is misspelled
with help from form?
overturned, not over turned

Start a new paragraph for each quote. Put the quote attribution after the first sentence:
“We dragged him out in a heartbeat while the truck went up in flames," Maples said. "I just wanted to get him out of there.”

Ruben Sharma, who (not whom) lives...

His front yard was (not is) littered... (stick to one tense)

11/15 - You need to proofread. You may also want to revise and repost this assignment.