Friday, September 5, 2008

Lead 1

$150,000 awarded to a Butte County couple yesterday after a traffic accident in March. Damages were paid for injuries they incurred.

1 comment:

camccune said...

You've got the right information, but it reads more like a headline than a sentence.

Also, don't start a sentence with a numeral -- write it out or restructure your sentence.

How about: A Butte County couple was awarded $150,000 in damages yesterday in Butte County Court for injuries suffered in a traffic accident in March.

By the way, what happened to the other two leads in this exercise?

3/10 - Please complete this exercise and republish it with the word "Revised" in the blog post title.